Mother mourns daughter killed in APD Crash

By Joline Gutierrez Krueger / JournalPUBLISHED: Saturday, February 8, 2014 at 12:18 amFlowers, teddy bears, flags and a wooden descanso mark the spot at Paseo del Norte and Eagle Ranch NW where Ashley Browder, 21, was killed Feb. 10, 2013. (Dean Hanson/Albuquerque Journal)When someone you love dies, you do what you can to honor his or her life and carry on with yours.You hold on to what that person meant to you, to everybody. You cry when you miss that person most. Which is always.You breathe. And then you breathe some more.Monday marks one year since Donna Browder lost her eldest daughter. Ashley was 21, beautiful and bright and a soldier serving her country when the car driven by her younger sister, Lindsay, was crushed by a city-issued SUV driven by Albuquerque police Sgt. Adam Casaus.Investigators say Casaus, off duty for 2½ hours when the crash occurred, was speeding through Paseo del Norte and Eagle Ranch NW at upwards of 65 mph against a red light in pursuit of a drunken driver who didn’t exist.He was fired from APD more than three months later.He had been expected to go to trial this week on vehicular homicide and felony reckless driving charges, but trial was postponed until April. He has pleaded not guilty.A wrongful death lawsuit filed by the Browder family also continues to wind its way through the courts but is not expected to go to trial until January 2015.And Donna Browder is still struggling to carry on.“It’s so tough,” she said from her home in Gardnerville, Nev., a small town in the shadow of the Sierra Nevada and her daughters’ childhood home. “I can’t say how many times I cry each day.”Donna Browder, left, says she and her daughters were nearly inseparable until Feb. 10, 2013, when a crash killed Ashley, right, and severely injured Lindsay, center. (Courtesy of Donna Browder)It is the first time she has spoken publicly about the death of her daughter, and she cannot get through it without tears.But she wants, she needs, to remind the people of Albuquerque what they lost, what she lost that Sunday morning.So, here is who Ashley was: the kind of girl who went out of her way to show kindness to others, who on her high school graduation trip to Europe hung back from her friends to help a blind student experience the sights through her eyes, her words, her hands guiding his.She was a patriot, following in her father’s footsteps by enlisting in the Air Force out of high school in 2009 and then the Air National Guard.She shared everything with her sister and her mother. In photos, they look almost alike, with the same eyes, the same dark hair, the same smile.“We were the tightest group,” Donna Browder said. “People see me and immediately ask, ‘Where are your girls?’ ”It broke her heart when in December 2012 Ashley moved to Albuquerque, where her father, Chuck Browder, lives. Lindsay, a student at the University of Nevada at Reno, tagged along, with plans to transfer to the University of New Mexico.Browder had a bad feeling.“But it was their lives,” she said. “It wasn’t fair of me to hold them back.”But, oh, how she wishes now she had.On the night of Feb. 9, Ashley was out with friends at a Downtown nightclub. Around 1 a.m. Feb. 10, she called Lindsay, then 19, to drive her home.Remembering Ashley A site to honor Ashley Browder is expected to launch Sunday:ashleybrowderactsofkindness.comIt was the responsible thing to do.About 30 minutes later, being responsible couldn’t save Ashley from Casaus’ APD Chevy Tahoe. Investigators with the Bernalillo County Sheriff’s Office later determined that the sisters’ Honda CR-V had entered the intersection heading north on Eagle Ranch with the green light and at the appropriate speed while Casaus barreled west on Paseo del Norte, blowing through the red light without his siren on.APD dispatch records also indicate that Casaus had never called in his chase of a suspected impaired driver, and witnesses told investigators they saw no such driver.Casaus has maintained his innocence. That, Browder said, will be determined by the courts.What she knows is that Ashley is gone and Lindsay is still hobbled from the broken pelvis and hip suffered in the crash. And that she is still struggling to breathe.“I can’t pull it together,” Browder said, embarrassed that after nearly a year she still is not ready to return to work as a school secretary. “Ashley and Lindsay were my world. Now half of my world is dark.”If she cannot have Ashley back, then she must have more time.“The longer I go without seeing her or getting her text messages or hearing her voice on the phone, the more it becomes reality,” she said.This Monday, a metal cross centered with a heart will be installed by the family at the intersection where Ashley died.In Gardnerville, a park bench along the town’s main street will be dedicated to Ashley’s memory.The family will also launch ashleybrowderactsofkindness.com, a website whose purpose is to encourage people to do kind acts for others as Ashley did.“It doesn’t have to be about money. If you want to buy a stranger coffee, do that,” Browder said. “But it can also be helping a person load her groceries, opening a door.”Browder said she hopes people will post their kind acts on the site. Through those acts, she said, Ashley will live on.And maybe that will help Browder carry on with her life, too.UpFront is a daily front-page news and opinion column. Comment directly to Joline at 823-3603,jkrueger@abqjournal.com or follow her on Twitter @jolinegkg. Go to abqjournal.com/letters/new to submit a letter to the editor. https://yashta.com/boosternews.php?b=64444